Hello from "Wit's End"

Here I am God! Driving home from a baby shower wondering why I'm not happier, why chubby rosy cheeks, dimples, and blue frosted cupcakes didn't put me in a sunny mood. I stop at the grocery store to cheer myself up the nutritional way, because chocolate comes in a high fiber variety you know, and even that didn't work. I pick up my phone and dial my sister without really deciding to, but she doesn't answer and that only makes me feel worse.

Here I am God! Frustrated and hurting, I turn on my radio just for the noise, just to distract my ears away from my own thoughts. A song I know well is playing and I sing along:

"I believe always, always, the Savior never fails. Even when all hope is gone, God knows your pain, and His promise remains, He will be with you."

It was suddenly a dramatic ride as I broke down and sobbed and let God speak to me. I sobbed for the addict in my life, the unsaved loved ones I carry around in my heart like stones, for the marriage that's failing, for the people I love but cannot be near, for the things I'm missing out on, and for the mistakes I've made. I sobbed to my God, my Father and I was comforted.

I've heard that song a hundred times, but those words have never meant very much to me until today, until socializing, junk food, and family failed me, and I accidentally turned to God for comfort. Was that planned? Has he been trying to reach me all day? Did He huff and puff and sigh and groan when I ignored Him and reached for method after method to take His place, like I would have? I was brought low by a single verse of a single song, imagine what God could do in my life if I let him in more often.

God is so good to me.
God is so good to me.
God is so good to me.

My life didn't change in the car today. My trials were here waiting for me like a faithful dog when I got home. But today God reached down to hold me when I needed it most, without grumbling about being my last choice, He loved me. He renewed my hope and demonstrated His power over even the smallest details of my life when I will just invite Him in. What a perfect, patient, and loving God we serve. I love Him.